Invader Zim Unrated
by Malkshake
Summary: Zim and Dib find out something about themselves.


**Invader Zim Unrated**

by malkshake

One day in the fucked up place where Zim lives, Zim was sitting outside of his house smoking a joint and thinking erotic thoughts about Gaz. "Oh fuck Gaz" he moaned aloud "give it to me, you faggy dyke". Just then Gir came out of his house, interupting Zim's perverted fantasy. He was about to bitch at gir but then he noticed something. "Holy shit gir! your sober for the first time in months!" "Fuck you zim. Im all out of booze, im going out to get some more". "Oh fuck gir" Zim said in annoyance "every time you to go to the liquor store you always disappear on week long binges. Pack a bag, bitch, I'm taking your alco ass to rehab". "FUCK YOU!" Gir shouted, and car jacked a passing driver, and drove away, screaming at him to fuck his mom. "Well this day blows already" said Zim sadly. Just then Moofy walked up. Moofy went door to door selling drugs, and in this ghetto neighbourhood, she made a shitload of money. "Hey zim. Want to buy some shit?" "oh sure Moofy. Got any coke?" "Hell yeah motherfucker. A full five grams. Let's snort it, all at once!" "Fuck yeah!" Zim shouted happily. His day was starting to look a little better.

After Zim and Moofy had snorted all the coke, they had sex and then went and hit the clubs. They saw Mr Dwicky crunked out of his mind and hitting on Ms Bitters. "I was a man once" Ms Bitters said. Mr dwicky had such a huge orgasm he had a heart attack and died. Ms Bitters shrugged and stole his wallet and used the money she found to buy a lapdance. "why are there so many old hags here?" zim asked, confused. "i don't fucking know" Moofy said, then she saw Professor Membrane and he paid her to have sex with him. Zim realized he was getting depressed again, so he went over and sat at the bar. Beside him drinking a martini was that fucking up crackhead Chihuahua thing. "Hey wanna fuck?" it asked him. "Ok, but can we do it in the back alley? I've got crabs and dont want anyone in here knowing". "What the fuck" said the chihuahua, but they went outside anyway.

"Just a minute" said the dog. It snapped a rubber band around its arm and injected itself with some heroin. "FUCK YEAH! Let's do this shit!" it screamed and whipped out a ball gag. Zim fucked the chihuahua hard but then began to feel sad. Then he realized why. He wanted to have sex with Dib! He had secretly been in love with Dib the whole time. So he pulled out of the Chihuahua and left. "Fuck you! You've got herpes now anyways!" it shouted after him. Zim gave it the finger.

Dib was in his room watching gay asian porn and masurbating when Professor Membrane came home with a couple whores and Moofy. "Hey, look at Dib's tiny penis!" Professor Membrane yelled and the whores and Moofy laughed so hard they pissed themselves. "Dad, i wish you wouldnt keep getting drunk and bringing these women home. I mean, you have me and Gaz and we'll give it to you at any time, you just have to ask" Dib said. "Fuck you, I don't want you or your dykey sister. Besides Ive already had sex with you both and you suck" Professor Membrane said. Dib started to cry like a pussy. Then, he threw a dildo at his dad's head, and Professor Membrane fell over and cracked his skull on the laptop which Dib had been watching porn on. Then Dib stabbed the hookers and Moofy, killing them all. "Fuck you all!" Dib screamed annoyed, and then ran out of the house.

Just then he met Zim who was raping Minimoose behind a dumpster. "What the fuck?!" he shouted in surprise. "oh hi Dib" said Zim. "Why are you raping that bitch?" Dib asked confused. "Oh Im sexually frustrated so Im taking it out on him" said Zim. Then they started making out but before they could fuck, they were run over by a truck. Driving the truck was Gir, who wasn't wearing his seatbelt and flew threw the windshield and smacked his head on the sidewalk, killing him. He felt no pain however because he was extremely drunk. Then, the crackhead chihuahua started humping his dead body, and Invader Zim was promptly cancelled by the network and was never shown in reruns.

The end.


End file.
